{"id":2654,"date":"2022-02-15T09:44:36","date_gmt":"2022-02-15T09:44:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.thebodymatters.co.uk\/blog\/?p=2654"},"modified":"2022-02-28T11:02:53","modified_gmt":"2022-02-28T11:02:53","slug":"why-should-sometimes-say-no","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thebodymatters.co.uk\/blog\/2022\/02\/why-should-sometimes-say-no\/","title":{"rendered":"Why We Should Sometimes Say NO"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

How many of us say \u201cyes\u201d when we mean \u201cno\u201d? – And I am not necessarily referring to extreme situations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you think about it, we do it almost every day. We say \u201cyes\u201d to getting up in the morning when we may feel very much that we want to say \u201cno\u201d. At work we might say \u201cyes\u201d to yet another thing, even though we really feel we have enough on our plate already but we can\u2019t say \u201cno\u201d. We say \u201cyes\u201d to doing favours for the family or a friend when we really do not feel up for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes we notice our internal conflict as it is usually our body, who\u2019s energy or comfort levels are flagging and our brain steps in to say:
\u201cYou really have to do this\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How would it be to say to yourself in those moments:
\u201cI don\u2019t have to do anything.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, I know it may not feel true. It can be sobering to realise how much we force on ourselves every day with all these things we feel we have to do, whether we want to or not. On a personal note I cannot tell you how much I hate having to brush my teeth before bed. (-and rest assured I always still do \ud83d\ude09 )<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And again, accepting that some things we feel we do have to do, let\u2019s say it again:
\u201cI don\u2019t have to do anything.\u201d
Go ahead, say it out loud and notice how your body responds to this statement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Apart from some softening, opening, easing or perhaps discomfort in your body you might feel a realisation form that actually no one is really forcing you to do any of these things. You could say \u201cno\u201d, it\u2019s just that that may cause a problem, or it would mean you get bad teeth, or you know it would not be good for you on some other level to say \u201cno\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And yet we may register that we do not have to say \u201cyes\u201d to it all. Some things I may end up choosing to say \u201cyes\u201d, because I am aware of the benefit of doing so. Some things I may be able to negotiate.
And some things, actually, I might really want to say \u201cno\u201d to.
How would it be to really say: \u201cNo\u201d?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Try it out. Think of something you recently did that you did not really want to do and that you ended up not enjoying and say \u201cNo\u201d out loud and whatever else you feel like saying to that situation. Or if something is looming that you do not want to do, say \u201cNo\u201d out loud and notice how it feels to say it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may find that it works both retrospectively as your nervous system gets the chance to somewhat rectify a past experience, and you may actually feel more comfortable to do whatever it is you need to do, after you really voiced what you actually feel like saying to it or about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Apart from allowing your nervous system to voice its truth, why is it a good idea to say \u201cno\u201d when we mean \u201cno\u201d?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every time we say \u201cyes\u201d when we feel \u201cno\u201d, or when we say \u201cno\u201d when we feel \u201cyes\u201d we create an inner conflict inside. We may not notice it at first when we suck it up and get on with what we have to do, but inside of us there is now precious energy being used for an inner struggle. Your autonomic nervous system is fighting with your somatic nervous system and as both are at loggerheads tension and jarring builds in the soft tissue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The more often we create these little or small conflicts inside the more tension and exhaustion we experience. If we are already dealing with chronic fatigue or chronic pain this will increase our symptoms. If we have not developed such symptoms yet we are certainly on a path to growing more and more tired, which in turn will probably make us want to say \u201cno\u201d to more things we feel we cannot say \u201cno\u201d to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I encourage you to celebrate your \u201cNo\u2019s\u201d!
Notice when it would actually be possible to say \u201cNo\u201d and enjoy saying it. Or, if \u201cNo\u201d feels too strong to say, say: \u201cI don\u2019t have to do this.\u201d and notice how it feels to say this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And of course, if you feel strongly that you want to say \u201cno\u201d to my suggestion to say \u201cno\u201d, say \u201cno\u201d to that with passion! (If you can still follow my meaning ;).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For more help with building your boundaries in an embodied way, contact <\/strong>Kristin<\/strong><\/u><\/strong><\/a> at <\/strong>The Body Matters<\/strong><\/u><\/strong><\/a> on 01702 714968.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How many of us are guilty of saying \u201cyes\u201d when we mean \u201cno\u201d? – And I am not necessarily referring to extreme situations.<\/p>\n

Read more <\/em><\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":2655,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[264,344],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2654","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mindfulness","category-other-therapies"],"yoast_head":"\nWhy We Should Sometimes Say NO - The Body Matters<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How many of us are guilty of saying \u201cyes\u201d when we mean \u201cno\u201d? - And I am not necessarily referring to extreme situations.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.thebodymatters.co.uk\/blog\/2022\/02\/why-should-sometimes-say-no\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why We Should Sometimes Say NO - The Body Matters\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"How many of us are guilty of saying \u201cyes\u201d when we mean \u201cno\u201d? 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